Sharing the Story

When I received the invitation to give a presentation at the Theology of the Body Virtual Conference, I was humbled and grateful to share a little bit of how Saint John Paul ll’s Theology of the Body impacted my life. As a woman of a ‘certain age’ I knew that if the Lord could speak deeply to me about His love for me then it was possible that He would do the same for every other woman who had given up believing that their hearts’ desires could be fulfilled, too. I knew my bike story and the painting had to be a part of my message for this conference.

After the video presentation was released I received comments from viewers who told me how my brief bike story spoke to their hearts. One woman explained that when I invited the audience to reflect on a childhood memory from their life, she too, went back to her own bicycle memory when she was a girl. And that was before I shared my bike story! Wow!

About a month after the conference a friend sent me an email telling me how much he enjoyed my presentation. He pointed out that my bike was a ‘sacrament’ of my heart. With a lowercase ‘S’, sacrament here means an earthly sign that points to a heavenly reality. Oh, yes! What truth! The Lord has used this bike to help direct my sights towards Him, both when I was a little girl and, when I sought the help of a Catholic Counsellor.

The voice of my child-like heart was reawakened and the desire to reclaim my beautiful bike inspired me to try again. This time I decided to first do some research about Finn Slough before I went out there. I explored various stories about this historic fishing village and scrutinized multiple images I found online.

After an hour of researching I came across a photo that had been taken a few years back. Right there in the photo was a picture of a house and on the roof of the house was a bike.

A blue bike.

A bike that had the same characteristics as my bike. I was stunned!

With a little more online research I was able to locate exactly where this home and bike were. I couldn’t believe it!

Back on the Search

The following Saturday I asked my husband if he would come with me to Finn Slough. He agreed but on one condition. That I approach the home to talk to the person inside while he waited in the truck. I agreed.

As we drove out to Finn Slough my mind raced with wild thoughts. Who lives at this place? What would I say? Was this really my bike or was it an empty wish?

I couldn’t believe what was happening. After almost 50 years was I really going to find the bike from my childhood?

We arrived at the home and my husband pulled over to the side of the road. We looked over and saw that the bike was still up on the roof. Oh how much this bike looked like the one I had. I got out and looked around the little yard with all its unusual objects surrounding it.

My heart was racing as I approached the house. I found the door knocker and struck it three times. I called out with a cautious ‘Hello. Anyone home?” I stepped back and looked to the side of the house.

I couldn’t find anyone. I went back to the door and knocked again. A woman came out and asked if she could help me. “Yes”, I said, “I was wondering if I could speak with you about the bike that’s on your roof.” She replied, “That bike has been here as long as I have. I’ve been here for 12 years.”

I responded, “Oh wow! I came today because I think the bike on your roof is the one I had when I was a little girl”.  “Really?” she said. I showed her a picture of the painting my sister did, and I shared with her the story of how my bike gave me life, freedom, movement, and joy. I explained I’d been to Finn Slough twice before but couldn’t find it.

She asked, “Did you want to buy the bike?” I answered, “Yes! If you’re willing to sell it I’d love to buy it”. She explained the bike had been a part of the history of her home for a long time and that people would often stop by to look at the bike and her yard. She had affectionately called her home, “La Casa de Bicyclette”
(The House of the Bike).

“I don’t think I can sell you the bike.” she said. My heart saddened.

She continued, “I don’t think I can sell you the bike because it’s your bike. You need to take it. It’s been such a big part of your life that you need to take it home.”

Oh my stars! I began to cry. I couldn’t believe the heart of this beautiful woman. How could she know just how much this bike meant to me!

Seeing Beyond the Body

After we settled on the bike and got it off the roof I felt compelled to hear more from this woman and her story. I opened the door by asking her name and where she was from. She told me that she came from Quebec and that she had four different names in her lifetime. She then said that two years ago she learned the name she was given when she was born. Her birth name was Virginie (French for Virginia).

Virginie began to open up and shared with me about growing up in a Catholic orphanage back in the 1950’s where she was ruled by cruel nuns who reminded her daily that she was a poor and pathetic sinner. She left the orphanage and ended up in foster care facing all sorts of tragedies that lead her to a life of drugs, alcohol, and homelessness. My heart felt deeply the struggles this woman faced during her lifetime.

She then shared with me about a male friend of hers that had been especially kind to her. He treated her with respect and dignity. She said, “No one ever treated me as well as this man did.” Her eyes lowered to the ground and said, “And now he is gone all because of me.”

I didn’t know what she meant by that. She continued.

“One evening I went to see my friend to bring him a meal and I could see something was wrong. I asked him what was happening and he said everything was alright. I said, ‘Did I do something to upset you’. He replied ‘No.’ I gave him the food I had brought, visited for a short time and then left. The next morning I received a call telling me that my friend had committed suicide. He died because of me. I did that to him.”

The lies believed…

My heart was crushed for this woman. She had been carrying the burden of feeling responsible for another person’s actions that led to their death. She was overcome with emotion.

“Oh Lord, God”, I called out in my mind. “Help me here.”

“Virginie” I said, “Do you believe you’re responsible for this man taking his life?” She answered yes. “You are not responsible for this man’s decision to commit suicide. Every person is responsible for their own actions. He chose to do this to himself.” I explained.

“This is not your fault.” I reassured her, “It is not your fault … it is not your fault.”

Her heart settled and she acknowledged this truth. She added, “As much as I know this I keep getting tormented with thoughts that tell me otherwise.”

“Virginie, you are not to blame. It is not your fault” I repeated.

As time was getting on I asked Virginie if she would be open for me to come back and visit in a few months. She said yes. We exchanged phone numbers, embraced as though we were long lost soul sisters, and then parted ways.

My husband and I drove back home in silence. I was in awe of all that had taken place and pondered this in my heart. Thoughts flooded back to the number of times I had been out to Finn Slough to look for my bike to no avail. It was then I realized that the reason why I couldn’t find my bike on my previous visits was because the Lord wanted me to meet Virginie.

Finn Slough finally unearthed what I had been looking for. My beautiful childhood bike. But even more importantly, I found a greater lost treasure … a broken and hurting woman whose heart was desperate to know truth, love and goodness. Praise and glory to God for opening the door for us to meet.

God always has a plan and purpose for us even in the seemingly minor details. Our role is to be receptive and trust that He will lead us on our journey.

What treasures do you carry in your heart that are sacramental, things that draw you closer to God? How is the Lord asking you to witness to women in your life? How can you help others find the lost treasures of their heart? Will you be vulnerable before women so they will be vulnerable with you?

Let us pray…

“Lord, we carry in our hearts shame and deep pain. Teach us to come before You with a humble heart asking forgiveness for the times we have hurt You. Shower us with Your wisdom so we can discern the truth of our actions and reject the lies that come from the evil one. We pray for Virginie that she will come to know her true self as You created her to be. Lead her to Your incredible love that she may see the beauty of her authentic feminine heart and person. Amen.”